Wallace Bryton (Justin Long) and his best friend Teddy (Haley Joel Osment) record podcasts. In order to research one they did about a teenage Canadian internet sensation who severed his leg while playing with a sword, Wallace decides to take a trip north.

Instead of the teen, Wallace discovers Howard Howe (Michael Parks), an elderly man with seafaring tales to tell. Howe invites him to his home and over tea, tells him a story about a walrus he met while lost at sea that eventually became his best friend.

After drinking the tea, Wallace passes out and when he awakes, he discovers to his horror that Howe is trying to surgically turn him into a walrus.